Pursuing Your Dreams

It was an interesting night that was for sure, getting off work and going to my computer chatting it up with some friends eating some food and just kinda sitting around. Ok so maybe really not all that interesting of a night.

However my dream was far more interesting. I was down in Corvallis and I was visiting for figure out my school situation and while I was there I decided I wanted to visit some friends and family. So I began to try and dial my brother lukes phone number and was unable to do so. It appeared as though I could not physically dial the number or look it up in my contacts list. So I began to try other numbers in my phone and alas not a sing one would dial. So I found my self running to the nearest pay phone to try and call from there only to find the same dilemma after that I searched through the phone book in an effort to find the addresses for the people I was trying to dial. After a brief moment of searching I realized that I already new the exact addresses of those people. So I headed out on foot in order to find them. After about 5 minutes of walking I suddenly found myself on an old railway tram sitting next to a small oriental family with rugged clothing. After attempting to converse with them I became frustrated and woke up.

I was subconsiously aware that I slept in passed my normal time but I wasnt going to give up on figuring out this frustrating dream of mine and so I fought waking up untill the dream made so little sense it was not woth the sacrifice. You could say however that for that hour and a half on a monday morning Sam Dotson was truly "Pursuing his Dream."

I am Jacks unwanted trash....

So in case you my large reader base of... well I am not exactly sure if this blog even has a reader base considering the fact that I have never received a comment on any of my long ramblings. None the less I will continue... I recently was left standing with my questions unanswered and my heart unrequited.... an experience I believe that most people are familiar with... She left me and that hurt but it was more than that not only did she leave me but her family left me, her friends left me, my dream left me, my lifestyle left me, my belief in fuck it i cant talk about this shit anymore i sound like a sad excuse for a man.... I feel like trash and maybe thats what I am but I am going to be the best damn trash i can be...

Solar Powered

The curtains where closed and I had already slept in past the alarm. However that didn't seem to bother me at all. It had become a regular occurrence in my life since leaving my job and dropping the majority of my remaining classes. As I began to peer out into my dark cave from the warmth of my soft blankets my days agenda began to meander through my mind. Lets see first on the list take a shower, next was deciding on what to eat for breakfast. Oh and the one important thing for the day call CH2M Hill and confirm a time to interview select employees. "One leg at a time," I reminded myself as I climbed out of bed. I was in no rush to do anything. First things first check my computer, install a new game for the day. Today it was Elder Scrolls IV Oblivion. A game I have played well through before about 5 months ago. It was about time for a revisit of the game. while it was installing on my system I wandered around the house preparing myself for the day. It finished, shortly after I had started reading a much delayed book. So the quest began with designing my new Paladin, a crusader for everything noble. I leveled up quickly due to my experience with the game, I cut down evil goblins and solved riddles from the pages of books. Yes I, I was on top of my world and then I looked at the clock and realized it was already noon. So I stopped playing and ate lunch.

After lunch I thought I would do something productive with my day so I ran the list through my head one more time. CH2M Hill was the predominate figure of productivity in my mind. So I called Brenda (a contact at the CH2M Hill office my grandpa introduced me too) and setup a time for interviews at 2:00pm on Thursday. I had done it, I had done my one necessary good deed for the day. Ah my life is definitely a tough one. Although not required I did decide to continue my productive streak, by going to 9th street subway and conducting surveys. I also worked on eliminating moss on the roof.

Later that night, during my unproductive hours after having vanquished many evil doers in Oblivion, I chatted online for a bit and had a very incite full conversation with an old friend of mine. I wont go into detail but the one statement that hit me was the following:

I think that you are more in tune with what you know is right then your mind thinks...you know that the girls you have been with are not right...that the jobs you have had are not right...God has a girl out there for you...a job and a place out there for you Sam...are you willing to let Him be the Lord of your life again though...that's the question...

Never really thought about it that way. I just thought I had commitment Issues....