Sunday, March 02, 2008

I am thought, I am now.

In my recent ponderings and self searching I decided that I am. The very fact that I exist and that I am past, present and future is reassuring enough of an identity. I came to terms with this over the course of 4 years. Beggining with the question every teenager asks, "Who am I." The real question most people should be asking is, "What is I." or to put it in a little simpler terms how do you define this perceptual compilation of experiances that make us, well us.

When I first set out on this quest of identity, I tried to label myself as a christian, as a good student, as an athlete, as a computer geek. I tried to identify myself by the variety of my past actions. I beleive most people choose to define themselves by the average of their past actions. Even I am guilty of such labeling, I've done it most of my life. However in recent and I mean very recent history I discovered that this formula of Identity is completely false and unfair to one's self or "I." This archaic form of labeling is null and void because it only takes into account the past and negates the present and future selve's.

There is a time in our lives however where this sense of identity is almost abandoned. During an individuals educational period they are often labeled in future tense instead of past. For example one might say, "She's going to be a successful lawyer some day," or, "Hes going to make a great husband." Although this does give light to a dim variety in the way we see other's and ourselves it still limits, entitles, and unfairly influences who we are. Perhaps my unsettled feeling towards this sources out of my own concerns for where I am at in my present life. I definitely don't see myself fullfilling the typical "success" story at this point in my life. Nor do I wish to limit my future decisions based on a false identity of what I am capable of and or what I should be able to accomplish.

Although this was a brief rambeling of my thoughts, I just wanted to make it known that today I choose to see myself as past, present and future. Without labels, without guided terms, only to add to my life's experiences and appreciate them without a filter.

*I apologize for any incoherencies present in this writing I didnt edit or review its contents before posting.

1 comment:

Arion said...

Four Step Logic:

A exists.
A doesn't exist.
A both exists and doesn't exist.
A neither exists nor doesn't exist.

Proof of existence:
"I am aware that I think, therefore I am."